Are You Suffering From Comparanoia®?
Do you:
Compare yourself to everyone else’s Facebook status posts?
Measure your success against someone else’s or your own criteria?
Try to be the same as — or different from — someone else?
If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, then you are suffering from what I’ve come to call Comparanoia®. The good news is that there’s an antidote. But before I share the antidote, let me tell you what Comparanoia® is and, what it isn’t.
Photo Credit: Nikki Incandela
Comparanoia®
/kəmˌperəˈnoiə/
nounThe desire to be like or UNlike others.
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Comparanoia® comes quite naturally, as we are conditioned to compare ourselves to others at every stage in our lives.
Statistics proffer what is known as a “normal” curve, representing where the majority of data lies. When we are children, doctors compare our rate of growth to the “normal.” Our academic marks and test scores show us how we measure up to the “average” student.
And these comparisons continue through adulthood. There is a “normal” time to start a family and an “average” income that people in your socio-economic class earn.
We are often praised for being on the “normal” curve of data distribution. After all, who doesn’t want to be normal? Sometimes it’s even better to be above normal — to get better than average grades, or to earn more money than your peers, though being either too far below or above the “normal” has its own set of problems.
Comparanoia® is NOT:
Getting a lower grade
Losing money, a business or a relationship
Failing at something you try.
In other words, Comparanoia® is not failure. We fail all the time. Failure teaches us that we have to try again. Comparanoia®, on the other hand, is a step beyond failure.
Comparanoia® happens when you take your failure, and measure it against someone or something else.
If, after J.K. Rowling received her first rejection letter, she told herself she wasn’t as good as other published authors (aka Comparanoia®), the world would have never met Harry Potter. Rather, Rowling didn’t let one or even 12 rejections stand in her way.
Even trying to be different, or better, is still a form of Comparanoia®. When you think you’re better than someone else, that too results in Comparanoia®.
The thing is, you're not special, and neither am I. And that's the good news. We all want the same things. We want to be loved, we want to be liked, we want to feel good about ourselves.
The even better news is, you have nothing and no one you need to compare yourselves to or live up to.
Your job is to be you.
And to celebrate yourself for who you are.
“I celebrate myself, and sing myself.”
Celebration is the antidote to Comparanoia™. The concept of using celebration to overcome and breakthrough is explained in detail in this TEDx talk: The Real Power of Choice: Overcoming Comparanoia®.
When you celebrate your victories and your losses, your good days and your bad, your special and mundane moments, you take yourself out of the Cycle of Comparanoia® and place yourself smack dab into fully being who you are here and now.
©2019-2020 Davide Di Giorgio | Being UNapologetic | UNapologetic Enterprises, Inc.
Celebration has too often been relegated only to birthdays and major life events. How can it be that you wake up 365 days a year, get knocked down maybe 200 or more of those 365 days, and only celebrate once a year?
In my research and work, I started to wonder what would happen if we redefined celebration to include more options.
What if celebration wasn’t only for special occasions? What if we used celebration for more than just marking and achievement?
I created the #iCELEBRATE MATRIX after a friend of mine asked me for, “daily celebration challenges. I need this so badly in my life (because I draw a blank sometimes).” The matrix gives options for who, what, where, how, and why to celebrate. There are thousands of combinations! No more drawing a blank.
Every day you wake up is cause for a celebration! You’ve probably heard many times that you get what you focus on. It stands to reason that the more you focus on celebration, the more you have to celebrate.
Whether you get that job or don’t, celebrate yourself for getting out of your comfort zone.
Whether your story gets accepted or rejected, celebrate that you wrote a story worth telling.
Whether you turn 19, 39 or 99, celebrate each year of wisdom, growth, and opportunity. And the more you celebrate, the more you’ll cherish each passing, fleeting moment.
Comparanoia® turns us against others and ultimately against ourselves.
Celebration reconnects ourselves not only to ourselves but to others. As we strengthen the celebration habit, we free ourselves to celebrate others too. And, the more we celebrate, the more we realize there is an abundance worth celebrating.
What will you celebrate today? Refer to the #iCELEBRATE MATRIX if you need some inspiration.
Let me know in the comments, so I can celebrate you too.
Davide Di Giorgio is the number one international best-selling author of Being UNapologetic, a keynote and TEDx speaker, youth advocate, Comparanoia® expert, and a speaking and confidence consultant for students, teachers, parents, influencers and celebrities. His philanthropic endeavor, Project Being UNapologetic dares to tackle bullying and build confidence and self-esteem while funding dream projects for high school performing arts students. He is currently on a Global Wellness Celebration Tour spreading a message to Compare Less, Celebrate More!
To book Davide Di Giorgio for speaking, interviews, appearances, or consulting, contact him HERE